some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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