it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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