So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
