Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
