no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
