yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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