I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
