Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
