Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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