Will you blow on my dice?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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