She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How drunk are you?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.