She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
