There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
