I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
