Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
zippers are such a cool invention
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
