i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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