If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize