..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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