i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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