it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I enjoy the company of your penis
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