Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize