I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
