you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
