How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
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I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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