Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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