I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
