me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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