Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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