Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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