They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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