its not stalking. its research.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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