i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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