I cockslap morals
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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