What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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