i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I just put wine in my tea
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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