Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
