Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
