3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
