Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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