I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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