Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
