I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
