Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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