Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
