No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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