Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
