Me. At least after what I've been through.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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