I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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