When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
