Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
