her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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