i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I love you. Go after that dick
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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