No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
