I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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