Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I look better un-naked...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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