Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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