This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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