Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
