i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
