i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
