Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
