I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
